Born Movie Reviews

Movie Review written by: Born Movie Reviews

RT Critics Rating: 0.5/10

Born Movie Reviews' Rating: 0/10 (Zero)

.................................I.........this..........my God.........

There exists many detailed classifications of bad films. There are some that are "so bad it's good." Films like The Core and a whole plethora of campy horror films fit into this label perfectly. Then comes "plain bad." Comedies like the remake of The Pink Panther or the Clash of the Titans remake in 2009. Those films simply suffer from poor writing, cardboard characters, and lack of intriguing storytelling. Then comes "awful." Take "plain bad" and turn it up to eleven. Films like the atrocious Batman & Robin, Eragon, and Catwoman all fit in this category. Finally, there is The Last Airbender, known as the first and only film I have ever given a zero. Shamefully disposed of by M. Night Shyamalan, Airbender quickly took the cake as my worst film of all time, insulting the original series as well as simple plain filmmaking at the same time.

Then came a film known as Movie 43, a film that has been announced for years, with the largest esemble cast ever for a comedy. Advertised as outrageous and offensive and raucious beyond all boundaries, the film comes forth with its notorious tagline: "Once you see it, you can't unsee it." I cannot agree more. So here is a warning to you, the reader.

For a film that never explained the meaning of its title, Movie 43 is not a film, but a collection of shorts. In implication, it begins by following a crazed screenwriter (Dennis Quaid) who tries to get his script made into a film. All the shorts that follow next seem to be what this screenwriter wrote about. With a cast that include Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Gerard Butler, Sean William Scott, and a lot more, Movie 43 will inevitably be the film put on all of their "Worst Rated" film sections on their Rotten Tomatoes profiles.

Forget Hangover Part II. Forget all the lame Adam Sandler movies. Forget the lame comedies directed by David Gordon Green. This is the most appalling thing I have ever seen in my life. Whether it is a man who reveals he has a scrotum at his neck, a woman who wishes her boyfriend to defecate on her, or a boy and his brother's panic over his girlfriend first menstruation cycle, Movie 43 is nothing short of a twisted muck. Shattering all of the talented actors, who somehow managed to keep straight faces while filming the scenes, this scandalous piece does nothing that a film needs to do.

Movie 43, due to the fact that it is a collection of unrelated shorts, has no plot whatsoever. It takes no time in characterization, nor does it make any effort in telling a story. This is not a movie. This is a bunch of famous high-star actors having the weirdest of fun in front of the camera. Worse, there is no logical sense or explanation as to why anything that exists in this "film" is funny. Maybe the actors had fun on set, but sadly, those laughs do not come through the screen. To use a clever description technique from Mark Keizer, Movie 43 is "so lazy that it is utterly amazing that it had enough energy to come out of the projector."

There is really nothing much to say about Movie 43, but it is movies like these that make me give up in the world of filmmaking. In opposite to films being preserved for their significance, Movie 43 will be the "film" that holds the golden turd award for Most Copies Burned in a Pile. Again, why is it called Movie 43? We know it is not named after the number of shorts it has. We know it is not named after the number of times you will laugh. And finally, we know it is not named after the number of copies you will want to burn.

In conclusion, and I have said this several times already, Movie 43 is not a film. This is a crime against filmmaking. It is nothing but a sickening scar in the movie industry. This is one of those "films" that was made with no purpose and released to the audience with no purpose. In agreement with Richard Roeper,Movie 43 is "the Citizen Kane of awful." This is torture. This is purgatory. And how can you possibly make this worse? Have it star Academy Award-winning actors and demolish every single one of their careers. Forget Troll 2. Forget The Room. As for me, forget The Last Airbender. This is the worst nightmare for everyone. Time will stop. Existence would end. The universe will implode on itself 43 times. Hey, maybe that is why the-- ah nevermind.